Further thoughts on Henri Nouwen

Posted on October 1, 2010 by freda

Today’s musings are not quite so tangible as yesterday’s encouragement to hope in the face of suffering and evil. There is a thread running through Nouwen’s writing which exposes his vulnerability and tendency towards self analysis. He speaks often of friendship and his painful examples make it clear that he struggles with accepting himself and others.

The sad truth is that he only lived for a further 8 years after The Road to Daybreak was published. He was a deeply troubled soul and suffered from depression and an acknowledge loneliness. Although he never openly called himself a homosexual, it is relatively easy to see the way he was wrestling with this in his journals and memoirs. Writing for him was personal and he made himself vulnerable in order to help others.

He writes of friendship as being crucial in helping him come closer to God. I believe his most significant relationship was with Adam – a disabled member of L’Arche Daybreak. Fr Henri wrote Adam, God’s Beloved, at the end of his life. I have a heavily thumbed copy of the book, which always moves me to tears of joy and relief; for in it Fr Henri learns the great lesson of life, which is simply to Be. And to be oneself in joy and acceptance.

I like to believe that the priest found himself in a new way. My only sadness is that the differences we have amongst churches, religions and ordinary folk, make people afraid to be who they really are. It is a paradox that the friendship which came closest to chasing away the loneliness was with someone who was severely disabled.

There is much to learn in the two books I have been speaking of. But in Adam, which was completed only weeks before Nouwen’s death his theology, vulnerability and sheer relief came to fruition. I believe that something special happens when we are with disabled people – if we let ourselves slow down to their pace, in acceptance of who we all are.

It’s going to be a busy week for me as we have friends coming to visit for a week. One half of the couple is the P-F of a previous post. Maybe there will be lots of different things to share. One thing is certain – there will be lots of talking and catching up.

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Henri JM Nouwen

Posted on September 30, 2010 by freda

My favourite kind of bedtime reading is any journal or diary. They are usually easy to pick up and put down. The Road to Daybreak by Henri JM Nouwen is the exception. It was published in 1988 and is still available at Amazon.

The book gives a personal account of his introduction to the Daybreak L’Arch Community at Trosly in France. The forward explains that L’Arche is an international network of communities founded by a Canadian, Jean Vanier, where people with developmental disabilities and their “assistants” live together as friends.  Nouwen left his post as a professor at Harvard to seek a new way to be closer to God. As a result of this year, he became a permanent member of L’Arche in Canada.

What I wanted to share on my blog are a couple of things from the book that can help us make sense of the world. The first one is about doing the little we can in order to make a difference. I’ve spoken before about how hard I find it to deal with the bad things in the news (poverty, violence, natural disasters etc.) Nouwen describes a meditation he led on the topic of the Feeding of the 5000 – a story where the disciples bring small gifts of loaves and fish to Jesus and the result is that all are fed and there is plenty left over.

This is a story that people often have trouble taking in. After all five loaves and two fish are just not enough to feed 5000 people. One preacher I listened to got round it by saying the real miracle was that everyone took out their picnics and began to share with one another. Be that as it may, Nouwen emphasises that the story is about the value of individual people and the small things. He says that the world likes things to be large, big, impressive and elaborate, whereas God chooses small things that are overlooked in the big world.

The mystery becomes clear: what little we give away multiplies; whether it is money, goods, practical help or knowledge. The whole is greater than the individual parts.

I’ve probably preached like this on many occasions, for these sentiments are dear to my heart. And I guess I preached the words because I needed to hear. Somehow, reading the struggles of someone else to make sense of how we can react faithfully to tragedy, made me in turn see that of course there is hope in the face of all that is wrong. I detected some of that same hope and naiveté in Ed Milliband’s interview with the Newsnight commentator, Jeremy Paxman. For once, Paxman seemed genuinely interested and much of his wearisome cynicism was missing. Maybe, just maybe it is possible that politics in our country will be improved by the younger generation.

So…… hope is the theme on Thursday.
(And the second thing I wanted to share will have to wait till tomorrow.)

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Serious weather

Posted on September 29, 2010 by freda

We have had serious rain here today and lots of grey, dreich mist on the hills and mountains. You just cannot argue with it, so it has been a day of dealing with filing – amazing how much there is even when you’re retired. The housework is also up to date, the incentive being visitors who are coming tomorrow.

Housework is the cue for Misty to join in. She only has to see an apron, a duster or the vacuum and she runs off to find her favourite squeaky ball. It’s good exercise to wrestle the ball from her, and good for the brain to keep a constant watch in case she has become tired of waiting, in which case she plops it down right where you are going to walk next.

The nicest thing about tidying up paperclog and house? Being finished of course.

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Evangelism on a skateboard

Posted on September 27, 2010 by freda

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO4_DCVhIKA

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The younger generation

Posted on September 26, 2010 by freda

Following the Labour Party leadership election, won by Ed Milliband, I have suddenly woken up to the fact that our country is now governed and led by a generation of 40 somethings. It is quite a thought, especially when we grew up used to the idea of politicians and leaders being into their senior years. Vince Cable, (Business Secretary) who is my age, seems very old in comparison with most of the rest of them.

I cannot decide whether all of this is a good thing or a bad thing, I only know that it makes me uncomfortable to see older and wiser heads shunted to the sidelines. It recently became clear that I no longer embrace change with the enthusiasm I once did, so perhaps it means that I am almost past it.  (Please note the “almost”) Come to think of it, Barack Obama, President of the US is not yet 50. This younger generation business is happening everywhere.

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My Bonnie

Posted on September 25, 2010 by freda

I have spent the last couple of days engrossed in the story of Bonnie and John Suchet. In his memoir, My Bonnie, John writes movingly of his wife’s decline with dementia/Alzheimer’s. (It is in the nature of the disease that it is notoriously difficult to assess the root cause.) Alongside Bonnies’ decline, the author successfully interweaves the spell-binding love story of their 25+ years together.  And this is a major success of the book.

Celebrities have a hard time when tragedy and illness strike their lives; not only is there immediate publicity, but there is often a call for them to become a figurehead or spokesperson for charitable work.  John shares the tale of his ongoing work with Dementia UK whilst making us aware of his own internal struggles. Whilst he was the principal carer for Bonnie, his time was obviously restricted, but as time went on he had to accept help, so he was able to share some of his experiences through radio, TV and papers. I hadn’t heard any of these so the story was completely fresh to me.

You might rightly think that this is a dark, dark subject. After all, most of us have come across dementia in someone we know or are close to. As we get older ourselves, it is now the hidden fear….. the way cancer was usually a death sentence 50 years ago.  Dementia is a slow killer, and is a series of terrible losses for surviving family and friends. I can’t imagine what it is like to be someone diagnosed with the disease, but the amazing thing about the book is that I ended up with a great fondness and liking for Bonnie herself.

This is not a book that is all about goodness and bravery, struggle and ultimate triumph. It tells the story sympathetically, but warts and all. For instance, John and Bonnie fall in love and each leave their existing partners and family. Whatever your thoughts on that, it is clear that they felt this was inevitable. John also describes his own weaknesses and the consequent guilt he feels. So all in all it is an epic work.

It is not for the faint-hearted, it tugs at the heart strings; but inevitably it also makes me remember my Granny. What is has done is to make me more determined than ever to support charities who help in practical ways and by funding research. Let me know what you think.

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Embracing change

Posted on September 22, 2010 by freda

It’s strange what we can face up to where change is concerned; equally there are times when we want to dig our heels in. I’ve had to change my rss reader because bloglines is closing down at the end of the month. This has meant a change to googlereader – a different beast altogether. I just can’t seem to get the hang of it. Odd for me not to be able to embrace a new challenge involving technology, but then I suppose an rss feed is about software. Similarly I still hanker after the old style of certain blogs or news programmes.

Now if it was a new computer……… or gadget……. or camera…… I would sit and fiddle with it for hours till it could do what I wanted.  I wonder what all of that says of me? Is anyone else having trouble with replacing bloglines?

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Living the prayer

Posted on September 21, 2010 by freda

Tonight’s Living the Questions discussion is about prayer. The course is in general very good, as well as being challenging and downright uncomfortable in places. I think it is useful for us to look carefully at our beliefs and our faith and to learn to accept that God is bigger and greater and deeper and nearer and further away than we will ever know.

There is homework to read through for each week, then the evening consists of looking at various speakers – theologians and ministers – on a DVD and discussing points raised with prompt questions to make it relevant to one own’s situation. Because it is done with other people it is a valuable opportunity to listen to another’s point of view. Quite apart from anything else it is fun. Not something that is usually thought of in connection with religion. There is a lot of laughter and there is the added benefit of getting to know other people.

I’ve just realised that this sounds a bit like an advert for the course. In years gone by it would have been my job as leader to arrange the evenings and try to ensure that everybody felt comfortable and had their say. Now that I am retired, I attend as an ordinary person, bringing my own thoughts and doubts and fears and no doubt bringing my own prejudices too. It is a valuable chance to spend time pondering my own walk of faith. The group is not clingy, cliquey or holier-than-thou, it has morphed into a collection of people who trust one another and feel safe to trust their hopes and dreams with each other.

I love the focus for tonight’s discussion; it says:

The idea of prayer as the primary method of interaction with God is best thought of as a way of life rather than an activity reserved for specific times, places, and formulas.

I am looking forward to it: can you tell?

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Sandy

Posted on September 20, 2010 by freda

This post will have to be very quiet, it is a trip into my inner child together with some old photos………. (Misty is having a snooze even as I type, so it should be ok, and with any luck I can distract her from checking the blog today!)

Sandy was my first ever cairn terrier. I’m not sure what age he is in the photo above, but the long hair makes me think he must be at least 2 0r 3 years old.

He was always a very cuddly dog, and most forbearing of a child’s ways. Even though I used to think of myself as a “tomboy” – the description of choice for those who had never heard of feminism and equality, it was a favourite occupation of mine to dress him up in doll’s clothes and push him round the garden in the pram. The dog-sized clothes had been knitted by my mother, so she was not exactly pleased. I’m afraid it didn’t bother me – I never liked dolls anyway. Sandy was much more fun; he was warm and alive and most co-operative. I vaguely remember being told things like – that dog will go for you one day, and it’ll be your own fault.

Oh dear – this reminds me of the time when I shut myself in my bedroom cupboard with a beautifully knitted doll’s jacket and a large pair of kitchen scissors and cut the bottom off to make it shorter. I can even see myself holding the scissors as I write. Well, how was I to know knitting was made to unravel? Poor Mother – those were hard post-war times.

Sandy was a great companion for an only child. I talked to him constantly; and now I come to think of it, he was even allowed to sleep in my room.

He was one of the really good things about my childhood. It’s too easy to remember the difficulties and to fade out the joy and laughter. That little dog certainly gave me lots of fun. He liked to be groomed with the vacuum cleaner – (the kind with a hose!) And if there was no time to give him a bath we used to rub a chalk block into his hair and then as it was thoroughly brushed out his coat plumped up and he looked comically pleased with himself, though he did sneeze a lot. I wonder if people still do it nowadays?

He lived a long life, being almost 14 when he died, by which time he had become a bit more independent and, shall we say, cantankerous even. The photo above taken when I was around 13  shows something of the close friendship we had.

He looked incredibly like Misty does now, and I’m glad to say she has the same sort of disposition: feisty and affectionate at the same time.  Happy times – what a great way to start the week….. positive memories and positive thoughts.

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Prayers for Peace

Posted on September 19, 2010 by freda

Universal Prayer for Peace
Iona Community

Lead me from death to life, from falsehood to truth.
Lead me from despair to hope, from fear to trust.
Lead me from hate to love, from war to peace.
Let peace fill our lives, our world, our universe.
Peace, peace, peace.

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