You really need to know the tune of The Hokey Cokey to appreciate this extract from 5 July 1995 written after arriving at Tarbert, Loch Fyne.
You put the fenders on the port
You put the fenders on the starboard
Then you take them off the starboard
And put them back on port
You do a little wiggle, straighten up your spine
Then take the fenders off the port again
And tie them in a line.
(On the other side of course!)
Fender duty is much improved by the way.