What’s the Story in Dalamory

I o­nce realised I had gone wrong with o­ne of my sons when he quite innocently gave me a red face during a church service. It was always difficult to encourage a seven year old to be still and quiet during the sermon, so when discussing it with him I said that Yes there were boring bits; but then I promised him a reward afterwards if he was good. Imagine my mortification when halfway through the sermon he whispered (as o­nly seven-year olds can whisper……ie very audibly) – Is this the boring bit?……

If you are going to church today (or have been) I trust it will not be boring. I rather think it is we humans who make God seem boring by imposing our rules and traditions o­n Him/Her. If God can be described in words at all, it surely must be to say that God is never boring.

We have visitors staying this weekend along with their loveable cocker spaniel, Dougal. The cat did not think the said dog was quite so loveable, and employed his usual tactics of domination by intimidation. Dougal eventually got the message, but not until he had a scratched nose!

It has o­nly just occurred to me that it is That month again… in other words my birthday month. I designated last year as my sixtieth birthday year…. but that turned into a catelogue of illness and difficult decisions. I wonder if it is tempting fate to designate the rest of March as a special month? Well, ministers are not generally a superstitious lot and I don't believe in tempting fate. I am someone who prefers always to think of a glass as half full rather than half empty. So here goes….March is to be a special Birthday and Retiral Month.

Now what can I get up to?

I am safely back home across sunlit wave-tossed seas. The trip to Colonsay was memorable in many ways, (not least for getting attacked by a plastic box in a bog!)  The Farewell Party o­n Tuesday evening was a great success though I seemed to gather more wine than I provided. A bit like the vine equivalent of The Magic Porridge Pot…..

The whole thing made me realise the importance of saying goodbye or “having closure” as the Americans would say. In my absence, Presbytery has confirmed my retiral date as 31st March and the parish here (Luing, Seil and Easdale) has arranged my leaving service and bunfight for Saturday 19th March at 2-00pm. I'm not sure where this is to be yet, but no doubt somebody will tell me; and as I have a voice again I am hoping to take part in the service.

Colleagues from far and wide have started to hear the news now, and there are many good wishes arriving by phone and post. It is good to have affirmation, friendship and prayers in that way and I am grateful. This retiral business is very strange, but I want to look forward and hope for an interesting and exciting future.

Sad to say I missed the TV programme about eBay. I have done quite well at being a buyer (of stamps) but have o­nly just managed to place a couple of surplus items for sale. It is like anything else o­n the net, it gets easier as you practice. It amuses me to think of all the people throughout the world sitting at their computers bidding for all sorts of items. I guess there is a technique in knowing how to describe things, as there is in estimating what will sell and for how much.

It may all be good fun, but I don't expect to make my fortune. There are still more bags sorted and ready to go to charity shops. Now if I was really into making my fortune I could offer them o­n eBay. How much do you think people would pay for an old pair of socks?

Quite apart from collecting clutter, my trip over here is to deliver files and folders and to say goodbye to people.  Over the years I have so enjoyed the different ethos of island living and the way people accept o­ne another. And it has been quite a task getting the new manse built, furnished and operational. Sunday services have presented their own challenge – you never knew who would turn up or from which part of the globe. It is true to say that the visitors are as eclectic as the islanders.

I hope to be back in the future, but it won't be as parish minister.
Oh it is hard…….

I am going over the sea to Colonsay today. Stephen is being chauffeur – his large vehicle is much needed to bring back all the clutter I have left over there in my study over the years. It will be fun showing him off and introducing him to people; they have heard about the four sons but so far have o­nly met No 3. (He who is taking part in the Special Olympics in July.)

Here's to calm seas and loving friends.

A prayer from George Appleton, Oxford Book of Prayer.

Grant me, O God,
   the heart of a child,
pure and transparent as a spring;
   a simple heart,
which never harbours sorrows;
a heart glorious in self-giving,
   tender in compassion;
a heart faithful and generous,
which will never forget any good
or bear a grudge for any evil.

Some of the furniture is going away to a new home today. I know it will be appreciated which makes it easier to let go. And I have a bit of a giggle when I think of showing it to its new owners during the powercut.

It was a bit gothic climbing the stairs to the light of a triple candleabra!

There was a power cut for a few hours again yesterday. Highlights of that time were: an unexpected “picnic” of bacon and eggs, cooked over the gas and eaten by candlelight; and reading in my new recliner chair without having to find an excuse to lounge about.

But all in all, the best thing about losing electricity is the thrill of everything working when it comes back o­n again.